Friday, September 10, 2004

Billionaires for Bush Barge Boat Bash

Sunday at 5:30 pm a large cadre of effete snobs expressed their appreciation of the Bush Administration by hijacking the annual New Orleans style-funeral procession at the Sternwheel Regatta festival in lovely downtown Charleston, WV.

The event was to have officially begun by 5:30 pm, but it didn't get started until much later because the Billionaires for Bush insisted on displaying their political signs and banners in appreciation of all the great things that BushCo has done for them over the past four years. The Grand Marshal of the parade told them that he wouldn't allow the parade turned into a political event, so they ditched the banner and dispersed to the rear of the procession.


Once the parade finally got started, though, they boldly re-assembled and unfurled their "Leave No Billionaire Behind" banner as if the whole of downtown Charleston were actually a Free Speech Zone. Quickly reassembling to wave their signs, they gleefully demonstrated their appreciation of an Administration which they'd bought by graciously financing his first campaign.

By staying back around thirty or forty feet behind the parade, the Billionaires brandished their bottom line without actually taking part in the official parade. And they were graciously rewarded for their clever persistence when the VIP so dear to their hearts showed up to lead the way.


Sporting his specially tailored "Mission Accomplished" Halliburton jumpsuit with a black briefcase overflowing with contributions freshly harvested from the local billionaires on parade, the Kennebunkport Texan strutted around as if on an aircraft carrier, glad-handing young and old alike.

While greeting the unwashed masses, he was observed spreading large denomination "souvenirs" around like he owned his own mint.


But, oddly enough, he wasn't just handing out these babys like they were souvenir trinkets at the Mardi Gras. Instead, he'd randomly walk up to children along the way and holding the cash out to hand it to them. But then just as the child would reach out he'd yank it back, only to present it to cheering "Have More" supporters.

Oblivious to boos from the crowd, he unwaveringly flashed his trademark smirk, thrusting 4 fingers up often as if to form a "W" salute to himself.

The overall reaction by the crowd to the political display was very supportive despite the rocky reception by the Grand Marshal.

The local news failed to report on Billionaires for Bush appearance.
Photos by Mark Hammer

No comments: