Friday, January 23, 2004

State of the Union Simplified

A fellow blogger's view by the Cherry Blossom King...

So. I watched Mr. Bush's speech last night. For those of you who might have missed it, here were some of the high points:

  • We can only achieve peace by pursuing unending war
  • We can only save our freedom by giving up our liberties
  • We can only fix our half a trillion dollar budget deficit by collecting less revenue and spending more money
  • We can only grow our devastated economy by renewing our commitment to the principles that crashed it in the first place
  • The three million jobs lost since 2000 pale in importance to the 1000 created last month
  • We can only preserve the sanctity of marriage by amending the Constitution to deny rights to homosexuals
  • We can only insure good medical care by limiting malpractice lawsuits
  • We can only show our commitment to America's schoolchildren by denying schools funding while promoting sexual abstinence and mandatory drugs testing

    Or, to simplify only slightly:

    War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength.


    And did anybody else notice that he never mentioned Osama bin Laden? And what about those WMDs in Iraq? Hello?
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